My beef with the Salvation Army

I kind of admire the Salvation Army. What's not to like about a coed, militaristic / semi-monastic protestant religious order that dresses up in uniforms, does charity work, and has their own marching bands?

I'll tell you what's not to like: the folks ringing the bell around Christmas-time.

See, if the person ringing the bell was in uniform (a Salvation Army Soldier or Officer), that would be one thing. And keep in mind that when you see commercials about giving to the Salvation Army, that's how the bell-ringers are depicted. Nice looking, young adult to middle aged people in immaculate uniforms, ringing that big-assed brass bell with gusto on a busy street corner. Giving to them is like giving to a priest or a nun. Or buying brandy off a monk. It gives you a nice warm feeling.

Here's the reality, at least in my neck of the woods: a person in a sweatsuit stands inside the foyer of a Wal-Mart and halfheartedly rings their annoyingly tinny bell. They're not members of the Salvation Army - for them, it's just a minimum wage job 6 weeks a year. I have no idea if the money in that bucket ever makes it back to the Salvation Army. Why should I risk it?

The guy or gal in a uniform? They're living at the local Salvation Army barracks. I told you, they're semi-monastic. Where are they going to hide their bucket? They're not. That money has a pretty good shot of going directly to charity.

Maybe there are some places in the greater Dallas area where you can go and see actual members of the Salvation Army ringing a bell. I don't get out much. I know they have a local commandery, or constabulary, or whatever their local congregations are called.

Until I see one of those nice-looking uniformed men or women like I see on TV ringing the bell, screw it, I'm hanging on to my spare change. If I see the right person ringing the bell, I might donate paper money. Think about that, Salvation Army.

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